The Controversial Good Boy Gone Bad

It’s no wonder I am so not attracted to promotional items, not just the things are touched, flipped, wiped (after eating KFC) by billions of crazy “smart” consumers, I had to deal with really weird ass promoter, check what this dude (the promoter) is doing.

So a few questions popped outta my head,

• Does the blanket belong to him? Or it’s just taken from one of the packs and when his work is over he just folds it nicely and put it back and resell it and the next day he opens a new one to wrap himself?
• Did you see him dragging the floor with the blanket? So imagine the unsuspecting buyer bought it and use the blanket without using and sniff it hard, you know some people cover the blanket till his nose right? 
• Is that supposed to be a uniform for the promoters? 
• And lastly, what the fuck is he doing with that innocent looking blanket??!!!!!

I’m starting to imagine prostitutes dressing up in a chicken outfit to solicit… Hmm…

“Hi, I’m a whore”

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• LOVE PRO wannabes, I came across this young punk’s blog and I puke each time I read about how he teaches people to maintain a relationship, and how much he loves his true love. And NOT surprisingly (since each time I read I curse them to break up), he broke up but was patched back again, if he’s a pro, how the fuck can it even happen? Bah, they will break up again. 
• Wannabes, my gosh! It’s Britney Spears’ song lyrics, not yours! When she thinks she is an all time diva, you are not! And for goodness sake can y’all please stop using words like “fabulosity”, “glamorous”, “diva” on yourselves? Those are really barf inducing. 
• Amateur blog reviewers, seriously, YOU review our blog? Based on what? Your amateurism? I don’t even review people’s blogs because I believe everyone has their way to express themselves and if you think you’re already a famous blogger by having 5-10 regulars. Please stop polluting the blogosphere, thank you very much.
• Internet sensation wannabes, boo, please, just because 2 or 3 people think you’re cute doesn’t mean you should upload 1371273018 of pictures in your site and call yourself “ugly” as captions. Bitch if you fucking think you’re ugly like what I’m thinking, then stop hurting my eyes!
• Some INNIT users, ok you know how you got to the top, you fished like a desperate whore to make people nang you. Fine, long ago I was just like you, but one thing we don’t have in common, that is to think that I have achieved a famous blogger’s status. You can be popular in Innit and among your lame friends but that doesn’t mean the whole world knows you. So quit acting like a famous bitch ok?
• People like me, seriously? Who do you think you are to comment on retarded and shameless beings?! 

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If you think I’m talking about you, YES indeed I am talking about you so suck it up if you hate what I’m writing because frankly speaking, what I’ll say to you shameless beings after “Who do you think you are?” is exactly what YOU will say after looking at this picture.

Yes, the word is “EEEEWWWWW!!!“

So whaddaya think? Did I hit the bullseye for saying what you have been wanting to say?

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Instead of squeezing with smelly Ah Bengs and Ah Lians in clubs, I stayed at home to count down for 2009, in fact if I really went to Penang island to celebrate, God knows what time I would reach home because at 4am+, Chee Hsien was still stuck in the jam! CRAZY!

So I chose to celebrate it on the 1st day of 2009 itself, at a beach and I fucking love what I saw today because we totally made fun of the people at the beach. Since this is the first post in 2009, might as well just make y’all laugh.

When we reached, the first sight we saw was this sunbathing lady, actually it’s nothing funny with that but to get nude in Malaysia is like you shitting in the public, everyone will look at you and like “Err…”, unless she got really nice body but come on when she got up (after wearing the clothes), all we saw was two wrinkled saggy boobs… And she was our main scenery… Oh gosh!

You wanna know how she looks like when she got up? Something like Donatella Versace’s body, check this out!

That.is.smokin.hot!

Next I saw a seal soaking in the sea… I still find Donatella Versace’s body hotter than this dude’s. Check out this dude’s body, and a comparison between him and a real seal.

I think the seal is much adorable than him

And then the last best sighting was when a parachute landed in the sea! EPIC FAIL ok! My gosh!

It’s no wonder I love the beach so much, all of us can sit there and start bitching at the beach! Well, what nice way to celebrate 2009! Weehoo! We don’t even have to be stuck in the jam, don’t even have to squeeze with the fucking crowd! Just sit there, enjoy the breeze and bitches on the beach and bitching about the people is just amazing!

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Too bad my sweetest slut BFF couldn’t join us, and she’s leaving to KL tomorrow. So gonna miss you alright girl? Come back soon! Can’t wait to have you with us again you silly bitch! 

You know you hate me,

OxOx

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Another year with loads of adventure is gonna end. Weee! And bitch better be gone and gimme somethin better in 2009. I know it’s been ages since I last updated my blog. Sorry lah, after that hairy leg incident, I didn’t encounter anything interesting. But nevertheless, like every year, I got ma very own resolutions!

• I wanna boost my readership to 300 unique visitors per day. No need to be exactly 300 lah, 250 also can. Because last year I wished for a 200 and I really got that! :D That means all you readers should encourage your friends to come and read some juicy shits here!
• I wanna pass my 2nd year with flying colors and move on to the final year. That means I gotta start eating the textbooks from January. (This one is a must, if I fuck this one I’m better be off dead)
• Weed out some really unecessary people and completely burn the bridge with those fuckheads so that I won’t have to be troubled each time I think about their presence. (How healthy)
• I wanna investigate and blog about really odd thingies in famous restaurants and poke fun of them so that I will feel happy for spreading the message and you will feel happy when you read it.

Ok last one, 

• I wanna visit some blackmagic master and make him torture at least 3 people I fucking hate in my life.

See all my resolutions are so healthy, what are yours? And happy New Year to all you party people! Remember, if you wanna celebrate in clubs, you’ll have to sniff smelly armpits and be soaked with other people’s sweats . If you wanna celebrate in an open field, make sure you don’t park your cars there, people will break it.

So where is the best place to celebrate? Your house. :)

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*This entry MAY be disturbing*

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And it has nothing to do with my previous post about the stupid Filipino version of “Twilight”, this one is something y’all should take note, especially the Malaysians who always frequent OLD TOWN KOPITIAM.

Yes, another oddity from this restaurant!

So today we went to Old Town and Spam Queen’s sister ordered this ice coffee and when she finished drinking, guess what she saw on the ice cube?

What you’re about to see now is a glass with some ice cubes.

And I wonder if you spotted something on one of the ice cubes, because if you don’t, this is a closer shot.

Ok, it could be some leaf right? Nah… UPCLOSE ONE FOR YOU!

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Looks like someone is missing something… 

So what happened when we saw this? Spam Queen’s sister wanted to puke because she couldn’t believe she drank coffee with “extra” ingredient. And the manager cancelled the drink from the bill, so she didn’t have to pay for that.

And that dumb bitch manager even asked if she wants a NEW drink. Bitch, how does that gonna make any difference? Spam Queen’s sister should just puke all over causing a big scene and freak them out and we might just walk away without paying anything and compensated.

Venue? Old Town Kopitiam, New World Park, Penang.

Additional comment? EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Old Town Kopitiam, that’s the cons when you hire shitty people to work, they are rude and unhygenic. Come to think of it, we really don’t know where was the last place that the cockroach visited. You better pray nobody falls sick or else you’ll be in BIG trouble!

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All you Twilight fans better watch out, there’s gonna be a REMAKE version of this movie by the Pinoys. Rayver Cruz and Shaina Magdayao will be taking the roles as Edward Cullen and Bella in the Filipino version called “Takipsilim“. 

And the best part is… The poster is out and it’s soo pukifying (new word for “disgusting”, learn it) This dude just ruined Edward’s image but the actress is definitely hotter than the original Twilight movie’s. 

Check it out and vomit please.

I cannot believe that face can be Edward, I think it’s a mistake somewhere because this dude should take over the role as a mutated toad. And I seriously can’t imagine him as a vampire, probably they should change the plot for him, instead of biting someone with his fangs he should be able to extend his tongue and capture someone using it because my only mental image on him is TOAD TOAD TOAD!!!

I’m just fantasizing, you can leave me alone for now. What’s gonna happen if they make this Filipino actress Bella in the upcoming sequel? It’s gonna be hot right? I mean I fucking hate the face of Kristen Stewart so please change this woman and use the actress in Takipsilim!

Like this!

Wouldn’t you approve? :P Hot guy + Hot girl = Super Box office! Weehoo!

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Yes, I’m writing about an ex-friend of mine. Well since I said it’s ex-friend, no need to be so kind anymore right? *woof woof* (Inside joke)

Well he’s one dumb ass who doesn’t know what Christmas Gift Exchange means, so I’m gonna take this chance to educate everyone because Christmas is coming! Woohoo!

Last year we had a party in my BFF’s house, though I was a mess that day (Ah! How bitter), I still remembered what I had to do, and I was generous to spend on Christmas gifts to some friends o’ mine.

So those who gave me pressies get one from me too, including this fucking dumb ass. I wasn’t the only one who gave him present ok? Even my BFF did! Well I think my title says it all, 

This stupid ass didn’t even bother to get us anything.

I need to make this clear too in case some of you think I’m a greedy mofo, I didn’t want gift which is same amount as the one I gave away but at least be fucking sincere and CONSIDERATE that if it was meant to be a gift exchange, fucking get a Christmas card and write something on it if you don’t want to spend too much.

And the best part was we were really good friends. Thank God I withdrew eventually because I know if he is still my friend, I’ll become selfish, inconsiderate and stupid too, peer pressure mah. :P

It’s ok, people learn to be wiser as time goes by, and thank God he became wiser too! He has been avoiding our gang and has been living in his own tiny lil shitty world. And our lives have become brighter since this emo fuck has taken away the darkness from us. So this Christmas will be a total joy for all of us! 

I know this ain’t a big deal, not like I want anything from that crook anymore, but I just felt like saying something since I don’t like him anyway. Oh gosh I’m so mean. 

Ok, now people, let’s talk about Christmas Gift Exchange ideas, if you’re stuck as to what to buy for your friends. These are what I suggest and they are absolutely cheap so you don’t have to be a cunt to not buy your friends anything when they give you something:

• Diary/Planner - The small ones from Popular is less than RM25, make sure you buy the refillable ones so that the following year you can buy the papers only. :P
• Plushies - This is very common, shops like Memory Lane have a lot, a small one won’t cost expensive
• Nail polish - If you have loads of girl friends, then this is for you, nail polish in The Face Shop is very affordable, so you can buy 10 and it’s about RM50. 
• Hair wax - For the males
• Mobile phone case - I saw many really cool ones in Fourskin, Gurney Plaza. And don’t tell me your friends don’t own a cellphone.
• Phone straps - Definitely not expensive!
• Photoframes with you and your friend’s picture on it - This is what Emily gave to me and I think that was very creative of her, she gave me a photoframe with picture of me and her doing funny faces, I love that idea so much!
• Christmas cards - If you are broke, please fucking get a Christmas card and write something sweet in it.

Those are things which are cheap, unless you wanna be like Oprah to give away a TV, car, house blah blah blah, then those are pretty useful already. 

Now tell me,

What are your other gift exchange ideas? 

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I won’t mention any names here because the gang knows who I’m talking about. It’s pretty pitiful how his good friends are leaving him one by one, so I don’t have to be so cruel. Eeee I’m so sweet after all! :P

So adorable!

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