3 Basic Steps To Make Your Readers Come Back For More
Ceddy on Dec 21 2007 at 8:49 am
Note: This is certainly not how any other “pro”-bloggers will guide you but this is based on MY own way of getting my readers to stay. Yep! I’m generous to share a little secret on how to maintain loyalty among your readers.
Step Numero Uno: DARE TO FUCK
Trust me fellas, some readers LOVE the blogger to use foul words in his post, why? Because foul words tend to be humorous. But remember to fuck with facts and know what to fuck, don’t hit a post stating, “Hey fuck you fat ass.”, elaborate why you want to fuck the fat ass. Never mind about some preachers who would come up to you and say stuffs like, “Eew you’re rude.”, if they comment, treat it like they’re interested, otherwise they could have left immediately after seeing bad words.
Step Two: BE SHORT AND PRECISE
You start off by telling the whole world what you had for breakfast, then what you did in between, bathe, which dress you wore, what time you waited for your boyfriend to pick you up, when did you bump into hungry beggar, what you had for lunch blah blah blah… You might be very eager to finish your post but people won’t come back to this boring blog ok? Some people love to fill the entire blog with words, come on man, what the fuck is this? It’s as if you’re forcing your readers to memorize an essay. Please! Be short and precise, if possible, add some pictures.
Step Three: TREAT YA FANS LIKE YA FRIENDS
So you’ve got interesting posts and I’m pretty sure some will comment, now respect your readers because if they don’t show support, you’re about to taste ya own shit so treat your readers/fans like your friends, communicate with them and reply to their comments, say thanks or whatever nice stuffs and people will come back! Oh I hope this could remind all my readers, for those of you who commented, I usually reply to your comments unless you’re a motherfucker who left ooogly comments then I’ll leave it to my readers to fuck you up.
Yey! 3 Basic steps to make ya readers stay. If it doesn’t work for you then it’s because you’re a born loser, if you want it to work immediately then you’re a loser too! Bitch! Be patient aight? Other than that you can consider these to help your traffic
- Remove your fucking songs in your blog - I’ve got my own playlist so your music won’t help soothing my ears, it’ll scare me and when I got shocked, I click “X” on top.
- Enlarge your fonts a bit - I ain’t no mini man so if it’s too small I treat it as if you’re not writing it to normal humans.
- Quit your emo shit - Nobody wants to know who you broke up with or how much you miss that piece of shit, move on and write something hot. People will come back, if you want a blog who doesn’t have readers then spend it on your diary you fool.
And dear readers, what kind of blog pisses you off? Drop your words here, don’t mind to fuck like crazy. :P
I agree with the quit emo shit. I meant diaries… well, once awhile it’s alright, but if the whole blog is about one’s personal life from brushing in the morning, take breakfast at what time of day.. Now that’s so gonna make me stop reading.
You’re right on the music too. What’s worse are those that embed the music in his/her blog.
I can not stand blogs with small fonts… What’s the problem with enlarging it a little? Not like kena pay kan?
Trying to prove that the owner got 20/20 vision ke?
Hmmm……
How about?
Make your blog colourful?
Well..Erm blogs with too many widgets and those that takes a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time to load… Aiyor.. Normally it if takes more than 1 minute to load I’ll click on the “X” straight.. Sien can~~~~
hey =). omg the most annoying blogs are those with damn a lot of links.and and and blogs with fucking complex layouts with fluorescent font.
Haha… for me i had to consider talking to wich person 1st!
To a new friends or bloggers, worst words i’d writen is AB ur CD! Wat d A & B doing? Haha… alien languages
If to a old friends or very known kaki bloggers, will be ‘ahem’ : TMD, CB, WTF, HKL & many more…
(i cannot write in full phrase, otherwise will spoil my reputation ler!)
I totally agree with the music thingy! If the song played is pleasing, that might be ok. But if it’s some irritating shit, I will hope to be able to strangle the blogger. Futhermore I realized that my pc lags whenever I enter a blog with music embedded because my pc loads their songs immediately. grrr… If you really wanna put music, don’t make it autoplay laaaa!!!
[JJ] I think hor if ur blog is colorful, it might still be okay. Just maintain a nice balance of colors. Don la suddenly pink, suddenly fluorescent green, suddenly black, suddenly orange… eyes might grow painful - I think la, cuz I entered a blog super super colorful can die that type…
some ppl might not agree but
*i hate blogs full of pathetic poems and
*flooded with super duper bombastic english words.
TRYING TOO HARD.
period.
blogs with too many pay-per-post entries. period.
Blogs that have flash designs and taking forever to load.
WY: LOL I think a graphic header for me is enough, don’t need to have flash designs or whatsoever, because if it causes the page load to be slow, people won’t even try to access.
Erlynda: Yep! Sometimes blogs with too many paid posts are really a major turn off. It’s like you’re dreaming to have a new entry and something irrelevant just clashes in.
Lovelix: I always believe in using simple English so that it will look user-friendly, plus your blog is not targeted to people that lives in Shakespear’s generation. So why make it so tough?
Jon Boy: Yeah! Autoplay songs can suck my cock ok? If it’s a calm one then fine, but too fucking loud can kill me, it’s like I’m enjoying the post then all of sudden the song just appeared. DAMN!
Anston: LOL Here you don’t have reputation! I’m always the bad guy. LOL
Brhonest: If a blog hurts my eyes? No second time! I’m serious! What the hell? I’m entering a site that looks like a whore blog? LOL NO WAY!
SaeWei: Yeah that’s right! If it takes too long to load I usually SKIP because I am already turned off. LOL
JJ: Too colorful also will have its bad side, for example it’ll hurt people’s eyes. :P
Anna: EXACTLY! I hate it when the blog font is extuhremely teeny! Man I am not born tiny and if it’s so hard for me to read, SKIP!
Daniel: High 5 with me then! Some people think that they music can really be useful but trust me. It’s not! If someone embeds a rock song… THE END!
oh dear,i’m such a late commenter.xb.
btw,i totally agree wit yr three basic steps/reason on how to let yr readers come back for more.
because,tats exactly why I COME BACK TO YR BLOG FOR MORE!
and oh well,maybe i shld remove my song uh?
and enlarge my fucking tweeny weeny fonts abit,
and remove my damn fake emo profile pic ya?
haha.but it’s ok,u dun have to read my blog anyway.
Blog with too many ads is a NO-NO
The blogs that with lots of video clips, it takes a very long times to load.
Jean: OMG I’m going to make a video blog ady soon and you’re saying this?! OMG OMG OMG!!!
Edward: Yes! But for those who heavily commercialized their blog, I believe it’s very important to know how to sort the ads out and make it look less messy
Alicia: Oh come on, I don’t mean you, I am generalizing it, I love your blog when you’re angry! LOL
I don’t really like blogs with songs. =D
I don’t really like your blog. You shouldn’t tell ppl how to blog in your ways that’s it since your blog is nowhere near interesting but crappy.
Faggot: Owh! Thanks for droppin ya line but… You wanna know something? I don’t like your comment too FAGGOT, go fuck yourself.
Lovie: Me too. XD
nice facts boy.i realy admire the way you blog .i predict you are a celebrity in your area.i was just checking if i could find some thing about myself,and i picked up this cedric.contact me boy i have got alot( if you wish) to teach you.you act well keep up.
I totally agree with the diary part..Those ppl really think ppl wants to read their boring diaries..
Who wants to read diaries?unless the person is obsess with the blogger..haha