Confrontations
Ceddy on Sep 11 2007 at 4:30 am
*I was so freaked out when my site was down… Phew thank God it’s fine now… Enjoy my following post ya!*
As I’m going through the journey I picked up important lessons which are very useful to my future, one of them is to avoid jumping into conclusions and try to listen to both sides.
Life is like this, you can’t run away from letting people backstab you, humiliate you, insult you and so on because this is LIFE! And all these sass-packing, humiliation actually help you to develop!
Now go back to the “listen to both sides” thing, there are times when communication meets its breakdown and people just failed to interpret correctly. You tell Jessica that Brittany is “being a really friendly girl at the party.” And Jessica may tell Brittany that you called her a “SLUT at the party.”. You meant no harm but because of the misinterpretation, your friendship hence went sour.
Of course, if you’re walking in Brittany’s shoes, you would wanna kill the person who called you a slut but you know you always have a choice! Take a chill pill and thing of ways to confront people effectively. (Note that confrontation does not work all the time!)
Professional Way
- “Actually I just want to know what triggered you to start this rumor about me?”
- “I kind of disagree with all the nasty things I heard about me because first of all …(lay down your facts)… And they told me it’s from you, how funny.”
- “I hope you know that I see you as my good pal and I’ve heard something really nasty coming from you, I chose not to believe them so now I wanna hear it from you.”
- “I chose not to trust only you or only them but if you tell me the story from your side, it will still help.”
Harsh way
- “Don’t think I don’t know what the hell are you talking behind my back!”
- “So now you wanna mess with me right? SHUT UP! I know it’s all from you so zip it, no explanation and you’re gon’ get it!”
- “The next time you open your mouth and shit about me, I’m goin to stuff my stink socks in your damn mouth!”
- “SHUT UP AND ADMIT IT!”
The Easiest Way
- “Whatever, talk all you want, it’s not like they’re going to stop me from growing and do whatever I want to do.”
- “Oh, yeah I heard it from you but yeah life’s like this, I’m so used to all these, we’re still friends eh?”
- “Bah, screw all those confrontation thing, it’s just a waste of time, come on! How are gonna stop people from talking about us?”
- “Ya right!”
- “Really? Hmm… Okay!”
You may ask, “Why is it that confrontation does not work all the time?“, let me ask you one simple question, if you know a person is a serial killer, will you ever walk right up to him and ask, “Hey I heard you kill people all the time.”? Will you? Probably you just won’t so there are times when you don’t need confrontations at all, it will aggravate the situations if you chose to take the harsh way.
If you have any cool ideas about how to engage an effective confrontation, don’t mind sharing over here and I’ll include your useful comments into my entry!
Good advice. The last time I confronted a serial killer I almost died.
I guess, you have cascaded all possibilities there are. I liked the harsh way…(kidding). I am more of a diplomat. I try to avoid confrontations and misunderstandings as much as possible. We can try to be civil most of the time. In my case, when somebody stabs me in the back, (may god forgive me) I tend be a freak…^^